Saturday, 21 November 2015

Expressing emotion

Children know not how to express they cry. They cry for attention, they cry for help, and sometimes, they cry because they r hurting and they dont know y. The thing in common between us adults and children is emotion. We feel the same basic emotions as children. Joy, excitement, pain, fear,...etc. Upon birth, babies express their wants and needs with the only way they know...crying. As the baby becomes more & more aware of his/her surroundings, he/she begins to experience joy. Smiling is followed by laughter, and the crying begins to differentiate into different tones, based on the type of need. When a child first learns to speak, he/she tries to translate needs and wants into words. When wishes r not fulfilled, the toddler learns to create tantrums. The more the tantrums r effective, the more they r used. Children express themselves freely, no shame or social pressure. As the child gets older, and in introduced to the world of right and wrong, some of these wants cannot b fulfilled, and thus some emotions must b masked. As a child turns into a teenager, new feelings r introduced, new emotions, new wants, new needs...and thus teenagers become masters in masking emotions, or overexpressing them. Teenagers have no idea what they r feeling, and so dont know exactly how to express their wants and needs. Some become aggressive, others bashful. And depending on the reactions of their surroundings, this phase is either short if surroundings r healthy and emotions r dealt with well, or may become permanent if handled drastically. As teenagers emerge into adults, they enter a whole new world of responsibility, a whole new collection of emotions. They become more and more afraid. They must solve problems on their own. They must b mature. The pressure is enough to make someone burst. But no. They must b strong. So they mask their fear. They mask sadness. All negative emotiobs must b put away. Only joy and courage can surface. So if u break it down, from infancy to adulthood, we experience the same basic emotions: joy, fear, sadness,... but sometimes we misunderstand how we feel. Sometimes we mask our emotions. But when we look at an infant, we smile bcz we see innocence. We see a life form that hasnt been tampered with yet. We see pure emotion, though misexpressed. We see real laughs for little things. We see shrieks for other things. We look at a child and see the child within each and every one of us, dreading to b free. Free to express our emotions. Free to feel.

Thursday, 29 October 2015

Democracy or not?!

Today another kid hit my son for the first time. My son is 8 months old, and being premature & the 1st kid and all, me & my husband are very cautious of him. But today, it was a really funny scene & rewinding it in my head, it made me really proud of my son. All my life, i was a shy girl. I was bullied both verbally and physically until the age of 12. Thats bcz my parents never put me out there. They never encouraged me to defend myself. They always told me to tattle-tale when someone hurts me. I wanna be different. Bcz i know one thing. Kids dont know democracy. Adults dont know democracy. But in kids world, its a jungle & its not run by logic & reason. To gain peace, u must make war. If someone hits u, u must hit back. If someone insults u, u must hit back harder...put a sock in their mouth. Then when u hit puberty, u can try a bit of democracy...see if someone listens. So the story goes like this: My frnd visited me today and brought along her 18 month old son. At first he was shy, and enjoying looking at my son. 15 minutes later, he slaps my son on the forehead and tries to push him off his chair. Of course, my frnd was like "no! Let go of him! U cant have his toy chair...etc". But i was more interested in my sons response. I honestly expected him to cry. But guess what he did? He looked at the kid in shock, like "what the hell?!" And then reached out to the other kids hand and started hitting it until the other kid let go of the chair. My frnds son did try to attack again 10 minutes later but this time his mom pulled him away. But what happened, my son defending himself. I was so proud. I see kids being bullied in school corners and , although im an adult, im too scared to say anything. But my son. I dont have to be worried of him being bullied at school i guess.

Saturday, 24 October 2015

Simple or complicated?

Some say life is simple but we are complicated. Others say life itself is complicated. I say it depends on our perspective. Sometimes it's the way we look at a problem that makes it so complex when actually it's really simple. For example, love. When there's trouble in paradise, we say love is complicated. When really it's not! In love, you need to have a foundation based on trust and respect. Everything built above that is sturdy. Whether it's love between couples or siblings or parents & children, they all have the same concept. So if there is no trust or respect, the relationship gets complicated and eventually damaged. There are some things in life that are complicated, like poverty, politics, war,... It's things beyond our control or understanding that become complicated. Bottom line, it's a matter of perspective. When you understand how something works, you find it simple. Otherwise, it's complicated. Like for me love is simple but politics isn't. That's bcz i dont know the 1st thing about politics. Someone who knows well about politics may find it very simple and easy to explain. So word of advice. If you find something complicated & it bothers you to be that way, try to understand it. It helps. A lot.

Thursday, 22 October 2015

The truth about motherhood

You know. Its really hard being a mom. I cant go anywhere bcz he's a handful if i wanna take him with me & a liability if i wanna find someone to babysit him. Shopping must be planned a month in advance. Going out with frnz is extremely rare. I cant do anything. My time must be programmed according to my 8 month old son's needs. I dont get enough sleep bcz when my son is asleep, im either doing housework or having some quiet time with my husband without my sons constant nagging. Im tired all the time. Sometimes i forget to brush my hair...& brushing my teeth: Ancient history! Dont get me wrong, i love my son. Its just that sometimes i wish i never had him. Other times i feel like beating the living shit out of him (not that i would ever lay a finger on him but the stress headaches he is giving me r doing me wonders). Its just that i only have one son, and already i feel tied up & drained out. What would happen if i had a second? Or a third? Thank god for that c-section or i wouldnt get a break! But then on the bright side, i feel lucky cz some people dream of having kids. Just like single people get depressed cz they dont have a man & then get shocked when they discover what marriage is really like. I guess nobody is really happy. Cz we all want what we cant have, and once we have it we wish we didnt: single girls want a man, childless women want a baby, mothers want freedom, C'est la vie! So enjoy life as it is & dont expect happiness to come from what u have. Happiness doesnt exist so smile for the camera & try to look legit. Just kidding. Apreciate what u have before u lose it. Be grateful for life itself & everything that comes with it. Stop thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. Its green where u water it. U may have difficulties with ur job, family, or in my case: motherhood. But in the end of the day, the smile on my sons face is worth all the trouble.

Monday, 19 October 2015

Self improvement

Self improvement isn't as complicated as it seems: there r things u need to do MORE & things u need to do LESS. Pretty simple actually...if u know what ur flaws r. Nobody is perfect. We r human. We err. Sometimes once or repetitively. Sometimes on purpose or accidently. Sometimes with knoledge or without. The fault in mistakes is the size of the mistake & the repetitiveness. Humans can be forgiving, but only to a certain extent. As the saying goes: fool me once, shame on u...fool me twice, shame on me. Some people walk around as if they r flawless. They feel entitled to do whatever they want & dont expect to b put in line. They operate on their own rules & feel like they run the show. Its this type of people that get on my nerves most. Anyway, when we r asked abt mistakes, we always seem to go through lists of people with flaws. Little do we look at our flaws, or see the importance of our actions. To every action, there is a reaction. So those people who r getting on my nerves...can only do so if i let them. In other words, u cant change people...u can only change urself. When u see someone with so many flaws, whether its ur son or ur husband or ur mom or ur in laws, u unintentionally resist their flaws, thus acting like u dont have any of ur own. The solution to dealing with difficult people isnt going down to their level, or trying to fix them. Its to rise above them. Show them the best of u, not the worst u can b. If everyone was indulged in self improvement, we would b living in a perfect planet, with perfect humans. Which is really boring & non-realistic. So y dont u be from those who r too busy working on their flaws to see other peoples flaws. Im not saying pretend everyone else doesnt have flaws. But being indulged in self-improvement gives u a sort of character & wisdom that makes people want to look up to u. It gives u strength that people can see from fqr away, ora that makes people respect u. So quit the nagging & critisizing, bring out a pen & paper...write down ur flaws. U might find it difficult at first. But im sure someone gave u a comment sometime, like: u nag too much. Write down: nag less. Its as simple as that. Think of what u need to do more & what to do less to make u a better person. Note: self-improvement doesnt only make u happier, but also makes the people around u happy & encourages them to do the same.

Tuesday, 13 October 2015


I had this classmate, 16 years ago, Niha. She was indian. We played soccer together. We made a volcano together. This memory is so dear to me. I wanna know where she is in life now. I wanna know if she remembers more of our friendship. I wanna reconnect with my childhood friends. Memories of the states are so sweet and dear to me. I wanna know more of my childhood.

Taken by surprise

We came to this life for a single purpose
Sometimes we forget, sometimes on purpose
We act like we're here to stay

Nobody's gonna live forever
Cz people each day just have to go
Our life on this planet is temporary
When, where or how nobody knows

(Somehow we act like we'll live forever
To feed ur dreams ur gonna need hope
Still when it's time for someone to leave
We'll b beggin please dont gooo

Cz this life
Is all we know so far
The rest is all so vague
We'll b lost n scared when ur gone
The idea of death makes us afraid

We got acquinted with u now
We love u dont want u to go
We know that its all gods plan
But somehow we wish we knew before)

How can we forget the way it feels
Its just too hard to let go
The pain is worse than anything else
Nothin like we ever felt before

Somehow we know that time will meand
Our hearts from hurt n our eyes from burn
But somehow part of us will be different
Nothing will b like it was before


Wherever i look i see u there
Like a ghost or a gaurdian angel
Memories of u r everywhere
Should i cry or b thankful?

Everyday we live our busy lives
Forgetting that it all will end
Everytime someone we know dies
We cry n then pretend
That we're taken by surpriiise
U can see it in my eyyyes
Cz hope of life forever
Is humans biggest liiie
Im taken by surprise
Someone i know